It was a good feeling leaving Toulon this morning. I know I have spoken about the direness that is Toulon a lot but there is something overwhelmingly off about it. I wiki’d Toulon about three minutes ago. In three minutes you can learn a lot about Toulon. More than I have in the past week. I have been busy.

My new home has been a industrious place. We will start a series of charters in the next few weeks. Our first one will…

I signed quite a comprehensive non disclosure agreement last Tuesday. This is quite boring and quite necessary.

Our First Mate had his birthday on Friday. The Captain left the boat about about 5pm, we started drinking soon after. I have picked up a worrying contagion since I turned 30. I appear to be allergic to beer and in particular Heineken. If I drink a lot of Heineken my nose goes bright red and the skin becomes very agitated . This can last for days and is made worse by sun light.

This is shit.

I of course have stopped drinking beer regularly. But birthdays are very important events. The First Mate and Stewardess went off to see some French covers band conveniently playing across from the port. I set about setting up my mixer/laptop and started bedroom DJ’ing in the crew mess. The crew mess has a very loud sound system. I had the place positively jerking when they came back. The Stewardess (who had seemed very mild mannered) started to heckle me and was only about three beers away from spitting on my keyboard (maybe). Where am I going with this?

The very next morning I awoke to a scintillating head ache. I could not wait to try my new Axe(Lynx) Anti-hangover shower gel. Sadly this does not work as labelled and it should be labelled as green nice smelling stuff.

There was a huge problem discovered during the weekend. We had run out of beer. Suffering a very red and agitated nose I offered to help the heckling Stewardess collect some beer and groceries from the nearest super market in return for an abbreviated tour of Toulon.  

Photo of the glamorous marina.

There was a very retarded market of sorts happening on the way to the super market. Imagine some of the worst garage sales you have ever been to, vomiting all over perfectly good pavement. It smelt bad and looked worse.

Appalled we made it to the super market. I set about looking interested and making polite chit chat. I was laughed and pointed at by three young youths. I do not think they get many celebrities here. It was nice to return to the relative normality of the boat.

This is one of the most depressing posts I have ever done. I hope I never have to go to Toulon again.

This post is dedicated to lost friends and boring places.

Things can only get better.

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