To say I was a bit nervous about the trip is a bit of an understatement. I had not met the owner and have had limited dealings with his nationality before. I am not at liberty to divulge details about him but some of my writing might give some clues.
One of my core tasks was maintaining three streaming television channels. After watching hours of camel racing and football in the Middle East my new QC work has been quite eye opening. Firstly the language sounds far more attractive and interesting. The programming also is far more attractive and interesting. One of the shows was scripted like this over two days.
*Women with gigantic boobs who would like them measured on stage and talk about them.
*Attractive twins talk about being attractive and being twins.
These are not channels that I have hunted to find. These shows are on the first main news channel of a country in Europe.
Six days out from New Years we got bundled with the task of creating a party out of thin air with the same setup as we had during our Mediterranean season. What the powers that be did not understand is that the parties we had during our Med season were setup by a dedicated team of roadies who followed on an 80m support boat. Not to be discouraged the technical department and our very capable Purser moved a few mountains to accomplish the impossible.
Our first problem was booking a DJ. Sadly the DJ’s that commonly DJ to this circle of people appear to be wankers. One of our DJ’s actually wanted to find out how much money our Boss wanted to spend before he set his price. Another one wanted to charge us 5k to hire some DJ equipment.
This incensed me. I know a little bit about DJing. I actually program my Boss’s gym music and if I was a bit sneakier I would have casually slipped a deckhand mix in to promote myself. Anyway as soon as we got to Saint Martin I went off to buy some frigging DJ equipment. It would cost less than 5K and it would be top notch.
I felt a bit guilty leaving the boat, but it was really nice to get some sun. I did some epic bartering and got.
2x Pioneer CDJ 2000 nexus
1x Pioneer DJM 900 nexus
for less that 5k US. This was a very good price.
My only problem was carrying it back to our tender through Philips-burg I had side walk singers serenading my stomping self lugging my loot. I even had a taxi driver offer me a ride as I entered the marina. I do not know where he was going to drive me.
After collecting our Captain at the airport we made a very bumpy and wet passage back to the mothership. We had problems immediately after leaving Saint Martin. The bucket which drives the jet seemed to not be engaging correctly. Being that it is one of our two New Zealand made tenders and I was the only Kiwi and member of our glorious engineering team I felt obliged to investigate.
Luckily she was wearing high heels and we had to tell her to remove them. I always find if someone is incredibly attractive asking them to remove their shoes is a great leveller Thankfully she was very pleasant and made for a good laugh as the party progressed and she and the DJ had to deal with requests.
I had to do a running repair on Mia’s laptop HDD. I felt special. I fetched a couple of strong drinks for our sound engineer who also needed regular cigarette breaks. Bless the French. The night went very well until the end when….. I had to turn down a day of Saint Barths exploring with Mia and a trip to Puffys party with Justin. Puffy is Puff Daddy or Sean Coombs latest nickname. Naturally I had to inform them that I was working and I regretfully decline.
I think that is the definition of a catch-22 If I wasn’t working I would be able to do these things but if I did not have the job that I do there is little chance I would meet these people. Until I get famous of course :-).
It was about 2am on New Years eve before we had packed down. Naturally New Years eve was an anticlimax. George the first engineer and I DJ’d in the crew mess to a very fickle crowd, I would say it was tougher than the crowd from the night before. I had my head on a table at 12:01am, I was absolutely buggered.
Quite an Awesome Xmas tale that one I think.