One of the more pressing and facile things we do at work is Guest Preference sheets. They provide insights into the whims of the more demanding visitors. Information gleaned is added and amended. They tell us what to expect and how to prepare.

I thought I might write one for Ruby. She’s been a demanding Guest from Day dot.

Dietary requirements:

Ruby will eat anything at least once. Favourites include Popcorn, Avocado, Meats and anything going bad. She will help herself to table service and loves a good impromptu buffet. She will eat from your hand. She will also eat off the floor and in mid-air.

She will not eat citrus.

BBQ’s are a favourite as is any sort of fast food.

Do not take her through a drive-through.


Ruby usually awakens at 7am. If there is no food about she will usually lie in bed. She likes to listen to the radio and the fridge opening. She will wait until the youngest person has eaten and then she will stand directly under the feet of the nearest adult.

After breakfast, she will stand by the door. She does not like to use her dog door, preferring the nearest human to let her out and back in again.

After visiting some grass she will find the warmest comfortable spot and will move as the sun does.

As other people eat she will help clean plates and is quite fond of detailing utensils and plates inside the dishwasher.

If anyone needs to lie down she will quite happily ruin said relaxation by sitting on pillows and barking once you are resting.

At 4pm Ruby will demand something to chew.

Bedtime is usually when there is no chance of food being served. She prefers to lie on an Adult bed but can be coaxed into her accommodation with a treat


Ruby does like a walk before dinner. She also likes to get very animated when there are chickens around.

She has been known to chase balls but prefers avocado stones these days.


Ruby will not leave tips. She will leave a lot of hair.

We love Ruby.

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