Join me as I recant a bumbling tale of ineptitude. Some people are not destined for crime. My wife’s sister is one of them. I have sat on this story for a few weeks now and I have been through a variety of emotions, grief, denial, pity and anger. It is only now that I can write with a cool head and purge myself of the considerable heart break that has racked my soul.

Once upon a time before a rather large adventure Prince Charming and his beautiful princess left their horse and cart at the Kings castle before they flew on the wings of birds to Thailand.

Whilst they were away the Princesses evil sister miss appropriated the horse and cart with out permission. She removed its delightful upfm decals. She emptied the horses food baskets. But she made one critical mistake………

She left a receipt with her name on it inside the cart!

Now for those of you who are not following my artistic license.

We left our car in storage with my wife’s dad. When we returned home.

Our car was missing its UPFM stickers
It had no fuel
It had no water in the radiator
It had a receipt inside it with my wife’s sisters name on it.

She had had the blatant arrogance to fool family into thinking she had asked us to use our car and she was stupid enough to leave incriminating evidence behind. When confronted with this she did the internet equivalent of batting her eyelids.

Probably not a super criminal. I am probably not being nice. I also did not have any younger siblings to pick on so am making up for lost time. Claire you just got owned.