Since flying into San Francisco and giving up our identities to Uncle Sam, we have traveled every which way across America down into Mexico. Our grand plan was to traverse islands across the Caribbean and find work on a super yacht. It was in Cuba that things took a turn for the extraordinary.

After wandering the wide boulevards of Havana we proceeded to bar hop as the sun came down. It was in one of these bars we were kidnapped! Having not been kidnapped before I can assure you it is somewhat terrifying. The level of terror is directly proportional to the amount of time you are left alone before you meet your captors.

Thankfully for us a plethora of sub aquatic flora and fauna was passing us by. We were inside a Submarine! Submarines are fabulous devices akin only to airships in grandeur and very few submarines were as delightful as our new home.

It turns out we have been kidnapped to work on this super sub. Its owners are both fabulously wealthy and fastidiously paranoid. As such we could not have knowingly taken berths on this voyage and it was necessarily for us to be whisked away without a trace. The Submarine is a Russian borei class model. All of its typical armaments have been replaced with more important necessities like a full library, underwater simulated driving range and various other creature comforts. With a cruising speed of 25 knots we have been circumnavigating the globe with a few stops to refuel. We are not nuclear powered anymore.

The crew is a mish mash of ethnicities and cultures which makes for some interesting working parties. Given our need for secrecy these are often undertaken with our on board launch which can be detached at sea away from prying eyes. I do not know what my official role is on the submarine. I usually wander the narrow corridors looking for a place to tell stories. If anyone has any good nautical jokes please send them through as I could do with some fresh material.

I suppose some of you are wondering about my choice to out this story. At face value it is unethical. However given its content and questionable veracity I do not think anyone would believe it, even if I told you the captains name was Nemo.