Seriously. Imagine the rush of euphoria, when just 5 minutes ago it dawned upon me that I can freely paint my nails once more. Painting my nails has in the past served me well. Now, if you are not horrified at this thought then read on.

– I have incredible hands. They are probably my defining feature. Painting the nails on my hands serves to enhance a beautiful sight.

-Painting ones nails is calming. Its a nice thing to do for yourself. The fumes are positively stimulating in a stifling way.

-Once you paint your nails as a man you automatically filter and amicably antagonize boring people. Let me expand upon this.
* Women with poor nails feel threatened and otherwise confused
* Men with issues are confounded by a tall man, with a full head of hair who has radiantly good nails.

-I love primary colours. I am not fashionable in the slightest. I have only one rule. Only a fool breaks the 3 colour rule. Painting my nails in bright primary colours serves to reinforce my only rule of fashion.

-There is some skill in painting nails. Its not easy. If you do a good job of painting your nails, you immediately garner respect from other nail painters.

See. There is method in my madness. Now excuse me. I must paint my nails.

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3 replies
  1. Nez
    Nez says:

    I have to say I quite like the look of painted nails on a man, it’s too bad that 90% of men think that if you paint your nails you must be some try hard emo or you’re gay. I’d paint my nails black every casual work day and weekend if it wasn’t so frowned upon by other males. Once at work we had a ‘black out’ themed day and I died my hair black, wore black eye liner, painted my nails black and wore all black. I think I looked awesome. Some dudes made fun of me but practically every female thought I looked great and all commented on how cool my nails were! Does this make me androgenous or just misunderstood?

  2. Anonymous
    Anonymous says:

    I paint my nails often and get many compliments including from my wife 🙂 There is a cultural war and the more self-confident males who paint their nails and go out in public the better – strike a victory bell for progressive and open-minded culture 🙂 It just might give some oppressed young person in a Republican family the guts to explore self-expression and open up his parent’s minds –

    Viva nail varnishers of all sexes 🙂

    paz 🙂

  3. Jake K
    Jake K says:

    I prefer to keep my toenails painted instead of fingernails for the simple reason that it takes a lot less maintenance and because it makes my feet look great.

    How many guy's feet have you seen that look absolutely gross because they don't take any care of them? Wouldn't it be a nice change if they had a pedicure once in a while and kept their feet neat and clean? And what's wrong with adding a coat of polish to help complete the look? I am not talking sparkly pink or bright red polish here, I think that black, dark green or blue, or maybe even deep maroon can look quite good on a guy's feet.

    Well, it's just my opinion, but I have also worn my toenails polished for over five years now, and based on the positive comments I receive from others, I think it works for me anyway.


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