After a lost weekend it was nice to find this movie on my phone.
Weather has been a bit abysmal. We are going to hire a micro car for a couple of days to help with dock walking. Stay tuned.
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A strange set of circumstances have left me with free wireless internet in our apartment. As typed about earlier internet time does cost a fair whack in France. There is also a limit to how many visits one can make to the laundry in a week. All of the wireless access points in the immediate vicinity are locked down and the ones broadcasting web pages are in French.
So how did I end up with free WIFI?
To be honest I do not know. I am scared to turn off my laptop for fear that the access will vanish with my screen powering off.
Now if my genie can provide me with a suitable job I will be quite chuffed.
Last year I wrote of the various physical atrocities my feet endured while walking the sweat soaked ground of South East Asia.
I am glad to report my feet have got off lightly in France. My legs however have been ritually humiliated. It was during my last mounting of a bus seat that I thought I would share some of my recent indignities. This particular seat had an inconvenient and ill designed arm rest. Not only did it not rest arms it gouged hamstrings that wandered close to it.
The couch at our apartment took a large tract of skin from my shin on my very first day in France after perhaps more than healthy gin indulgence I think I was making haste to retrieve my wizards robe or another magical device.
The bunk bed I currently sleep in has two detachable roll out guards which deliver choice blows around the clock as I scale the ladder to rest my feet. The irony is not lost.
Perhaps I have frogs legs?
If you want an accurate yardstick on another country and your ability to converse with its population. Join a gym. Today being Sunday we thought it would be a good idea to visit the local fitness establishment and enquire about getting a limited membership.
We preformed routine reconnaissance at approximately 8:30 am. The gym was spotted and appeared to have usable equipment. The opening hours were noted with some dismay. It appears nothing is open before 9:00 am in this part of the world.
At home base we consulted our phrase books and thought we had enough French to set up two memberships for a month. On visiting the gym at 11:15 am we were met by a very charming man who spoke about as much English as we speak French.
On discovering our and his plight he tried to flag down the nearest lady in a leotard. She sidestepped our rapidly deteriorating conversation quickly. Still with a lot of hand signals, body language and nodding we slowly moved our way through registration until we needed to pay. He was fresh out of change and I was set across the road to the super marche to find the purser.
The purser was working at an electronics counter. I waved a fifty euro note and said
“Bonjour!”
“Proform Le Change”
This was enough for him to explain that I would need to wait two minutes and I could watch him working on a broken plug. He fixed the plug with sellotape. If this Super Yacht thing does not work out I could probably begin an electronics engineer career here with some Success! I would have used duct tape.
I eventually received change, ran back to the gym and completed paying. Another lady said she could help if we spoke Dutch.
“Non. Nouveau Zealande”
“Anglais”
It was very satisfying to start our workout. Our triumphant membership process was duly noted by the many exercising members and I am sure we will be the toast of many tables tonight in Antibes.
Found inside the palace grounds at Monaco.
Nemo still teases me. I must be close to finding him.
For this and other photos please feel free to look at the following link
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| Intripcredible |
The train ride from Antibes to Monaco is a beautiful one. The terracotta hillsides and turquoise ocean join to inspire just as they have for centuries.
How often is a place exactly as you have imagined? Monaco was for me. The steepness of the streets and delicately placed buildings are incredible to behold.
A lack of current vocation does mean trips like these are business trips Business means walking up, down and through the docks. There were some seriously serious super yachts.
I have been keeping a watchful eye on the names of boats. This one was the best I saw in Monaco.
After a good hour and a half of dock walking it was time to get down to the not so serious business of being a tourist and freelance writer. To the palace Batman! The palace is pretty good.
I could see myself living there with a few modifications. Namely the lack of chrome on the guards and statues of myself.
No bird would dare sit on my head.
After watching the quite regimented spectacle of the guards changing at 11:55 with about 500 other heavily bagged and camera’d people it was time to visit the Casino. A good travel tip for the budget conscious traveler who has donated heavily to my blog and wants to save a few dollars is to invest in a le tourist passe which allows unlimited bus travel in Monaco for the day for only €3.00.
The Casino is both elegant and puzzling. It was there I spotted my first defibrillator. I am thinking the careful placement of these is for travelers who have trouble scaling the steep hills of Monaco. They could of course be for people like me who openly do not like cars but feel pangs of car envy that are heart stopping. They could also be for people who’s hearts stop beating from the breath taking views. This would only explain this one I spotted.
Monaco is an incredibly clean city. Rubbish is attacked with glee and so are infringers. The city is full with over 6000 CCTV cameras and it pays to be mindful of hooliganism. While we waited for a bus we saw three separate people be pulled over by pedestrian police officers.
This last runt would have been struggling to be ten and was riding a scooter. I think he could have been royalty or otherwise important because he pulled out some papers which made the officers wave him on without a ticket.
The bus arrived and we departed for the Le Jardine Exotique. The garden sits perched upon some of the highest real estate Monaco has. Sadly the entrance price was quite high. May I indulge you with another traveling tip. Take photos of the photos outside the tourist attraction you are not visiting. Its just as good as being there.
I have to give mention to one of Monaco’s less obvious characteristics. The whole place smells incredible. Perhaps the 6000 CCTV cameras also dispense parfume? The only place that did not smell like a duty free counter was directly on top the sea.
Time was creeping on now so we decided to head back towards the train station. In our exuberance to leave behind the exorbitance we got off our bus 5 stops early. This allowed us to spy some unique architecture.
And another good reason Monaco is so incredibly clean.
Monaco train station is by far the most impressive I have waited in for an extended length of time. While it was sad to leave Monaco it is our hope that on our return we will be aboard a super yacht. I am writing it. It shall be so.
At 5AM in urban France a growling menace prowls the pavement. A mechanized menace but a brute all the same. Water trucks and cleaners hose the previous days refuse away before people rise.
The bulk of this refuse is the product of one of Frances obsessions. The humble dog enjoys a privileged existence here. Meticulously groomed dogs enjoy taking owners for walks. They also enjoy depositing doggy waste and generally lording it up.
Even the seemingly stray dogs are happy and well fed. I also have noticed it is common for the odd street beggar to have a nice looking dog alongside a modest looking bowl or cap.
Even the humble dog advertising placard has taken on new dimensions in France.
Exhibit A
Exhibit B
France has surely gone to the dogs. Where are ze cats?
As you may have guessed internet access is a bit harder to source cheaply in this part of the world. Half an hour of internet at a cafe is about €2.50 which is a bit steep given the paralyzing affect the recession has had on the financial liquidity of my blog.
Luckily the local Laundromat has free WIFI! This encourages both domesticated behaviour and precious internet time. I literally can not wait to take things to be dried, washed etc.
Following our early morning amble this morning we decided to follow the coast around to the main port of Antibes.
It is probably best I dispense with some evidence of the amazing scenery which populates this section of the Riviera.
Shot looking back towards our home in Juan Les Pins.
The beautiful sea. Plane coming in to land just like ours did on Friday.
View towards Antibes town
When we first saw the top of this Super Yacht we thought it was a floating restaurant.
More big fellows.
Today was a day of two walks. One in the dark and one in the glorious sun.
Success and Success!
With jet lag and/or the incessant indulging of food and alcoholic beverages still weighing heavily on our minds much of Antibes still remains a mystery.
We did take a long walk down the coast this morning. It takes about half an hour to get down to the next port. There are some incredibly large yachts and I would have openly salivated if it wasn’t so bitterly cold and dark. It was 5am and my hoodie is in desperate need of a clean as it has visually suffered from sustained impromptue bouts of drinking and eating. The weather is on the improve however and we are expecting 23 degrees today.
My only other observation from the walk this morning is that only other people up and about were impeccably well dressed ladies and gentlemen walking home from discotheques. They were even walking straight which is in itself remarkable. What a curious race the French are.
Some of you might remember the no horseplay signs which dotted the gymnasium we frequented in our trip to Australia last year. Imagine my excitement when I saw the sign for the pool which is a part of our apartment complex.
Clearly you should not dive, play with balls or engage in TARZAN acts, I look forward to diving from a rope swing whilst juggling.
I haven’t had time to document all of the eclectic malaise which is part of our habitat but I do have one more photo to share.
Check out the size of the light switches here.
Huge. My success campaign has been getting some traction as has my new catch cry.
I am going to blog the sh*t out of that.
Time to venture out and find some fresh quarry.
Easter Sunday in Antibes began with a visit to the de toilette. A stealthy bunny had deposited a couple of eggs which were met with welcome hands and Anna and I devoured them before our usual breakfast.
Our extended whanau had celebrated long into the night so we decided to go for a walk and capture some fresh eggs as the apartment was full of chocolate bounty which could need replenishing. The local casino coughed up plenty of eggs, we visited a bakery and bought a couple of baguettes to complement the condiments.
I now have to describe the calorific collateral damage which comes with living with two chefs. On our return an egg tasting session started which to be honest has not finished yet. Chef Shafiq created a baguette cheese Vegemite branston pickle mayo ensemble which by all reports was very tasty.
Some of the later risers opted for a rapturous risotto which was was still packing a punch from Friday night. At some point before 11am I enlightenly decided to purchase some more Gin. I delegated the Gin purchasing to studious Sam who on return had managed to lose the Fifty Euro note I had given her. This slight has delivered quite a lot of comedic mileage and we all wait with baited breath for someone to provide more stupidity for us all to laugh at. Luckily my wife supported the second Gin purchasing mission as she had zip up pockets which are less prone to losing Fifty euro notes.
Chef Shafiq delivered again with a potato mash up with freshly raped parmeson, butter, mayonnaise and essential herbs and spices. Anna decided to lighten things up with a healthy salad which was heartily devoured until all semblance of healthy fibre had dissipated.
Remedial action had to be taken and our next course was to be crepes ala duck or nutella depending on your persuasion.
Naturally I am devastated at my Sunday thus far. We have run out of Gin and if I could move with out all of the food pulsating through my digestive system I would be venturing out to get some more.
Gin that is.