The origins of this meme were germinated a long long time ago by Uncle Phil and myself. Sit back and relax. Keep your eyes open and you will soon understand PANIC, RAGE, INTERNET , MONEY!!!.

PANIC.

Panic is the last thing you want on a multi million dollar vessel. Panic leads to mistakes and mistakes lead to accidents. Invariably panic begins inside. It grips people and spreads like wild fire. Forget Chinese whispers, PANIC shouts a whole new tune. Forget living the dream. Live the PANIC!

I am not sure why Panic is everywhere. I think incredibly rich people are not earthy bound as we mortals are. This leads to unreasonable demands, a lack of planning, emotions and a fertile breeding ground for Panic.

The best thing to do in such situations is to just say PANIC in a falsetto yell, wave your arms around your head. Turn circles if at all possible.

RAGE

A failure to panic leads to RAGE. Some people enjoy seeing panic. I am not sure why this is. There are books ready to be written about this very subject. I am a quiet rager. But sometimes I feel the need to vent my frustrations. This is usually after a few beers. It can involve flapping my arms around. Maybe one day I will fly away.

INTERNET

Our Chef often threatens us with starvation. We laugh this off, knowing there are chocolates on board in the guest cabins and we could catch fish if we were really hungry. I am betting the non NZ crew would eat my Marmite if they got really hungry

Take away the crew internet however and things would rapidly descend into chaos. I know this. I am the most powerful person on board.

MONEY

Money is the root of all evil, but we all know if we are in a shit situation and given more money. Things will get better. Won’t they?

So that is it. A complete venting sentence. Self contained and ready to go. The next time things are looking grim say PANIC, RAGE, INTERNET, MONEY! and feel your worries wash away.