For the past two weeks I have been spending more and more time with the somewhat shadowy figure of the Mexican Mafia, Hector. Hector says very little at first but now I have trouble finding spots when he is not making a noise of some description.
Hector has only been too happy to further my Spanish education with many manageable morsels. The ultimate so far has been his explanation of feminine and masculine nouns. The pro-noun el or la is put front of them and it trips up many an English speaker. Hectors rule works very well and I can not fault it. It is quite simple.
Suppose you are a man.
Could you have carnal heterosexual abiet quite kinky relations with the object?
Yes, it is feminine.
No it is is masculine.
Upon learning this rule I looked about the room attempting to break it. Spying a roll of electrical tape I said.
“No” said Hector, see its obvious characteristic. That is feminine.
I then looked at a screwdriver. He smiled and said “that it is el desarmador”
A ladder turns out to be feminine. I asked Hector about this and Hector was only too happy to demonstrate the various positions a ladder can be posed in.
Spanish truly is a language of love.
My other Hector lesson comes from a direct translation of his Argentinian tongue. Instead of saying Don’t Panic. Hector says,
“Don’t go to the Panic”
I love this. It makes panicing out as a dark place that one has to go to to experience. I think this is true and when I start to lose my head I just think “Don’t go to the Panic”
Hector even took time out to txt me “Don’t go the Panic” at a random time yesterday.