I work weekends a lot.

It is a necessary evil and I have developed a couple of evolutionary adaptations over the years to help me cope with what initially was a frightening prospect. Here are a few of my ever so helpful hints.

If you are sharing an eating space with colleagues that are not working. Make sure you use a blender or drill with a whisk attached loudly with a lot of ice around their hungover persons frequently. They will learn quickly you are serious. Sometimes I just blend ice with nothing else.

Drink a lot of coffee. You should feel a tightness in your chest before 7am all going well. You can use a cup of blended ice to cool down your forehead if it gets too much.

Enjoy the fact that nobody sends emails on a Weekend.

If you have to wear a uniform. Dress down. Wear slippers instead of shoes. Shorts instead of pants. Better yet don’t wear a uniform but still carry tools and things that identify you as working in case anyone has the gall to ask you what you are doing.

Wear headphones, preferably large. These will come in handy when you are using the blender.

Eat ice cream at every opportunity.

If you have any fun tasks to do save them for the weekend. Your weekend self will thank you for it.

If you do have to be seen by anybody, leverage some of the caffeine you poisoned yourself with earlier appear excessively animated and you attending to a critical failure of a life-threatening piece of equipment.

When everyone convenes on Monday to talk about the exciting things they did.

Blend some more ice.

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