After a lost weekend it was nice to find this movie on my phone.
Weather has been a bit abysmal. We are going to hire a micro car for a couple of days to help with dock walking. Stay tuned.
A strange set of circumstances have left me with free wireless internet in our apartment. As typed about earlier internet time does cost a fair whack in France. There is also a limit to how many visits one can make to the laundry in a week. All of the wireless access points in the immediate vicinity are locked down and the ones broadcasting web pages are in French.
So how did I end up with free WIFI?
To be honest I do not know. I am scared to turn off my laptop for fear that the access will vanish with my screen powering off.
Now if my genie can provide me with a suitable job I will be quite chuffed.
Last year I wrote of the various physical atrocities my feet endured while walking the sweat soaked ground of South East Asia.
I am glad to report my feet have got off lightly in France. My legs however have been ritually humiliated. It was during my last mounting of a bus seat that I thought I would share some of my recent indignities. This particular seat had an inconvenient and ill designed arm rest. Not only did it not rest arms it gouged hamstrings that wandered close to it.
The couch at our apartment took a large tract of skin from my shin on my very first day in France after perhaps more than healthy gin indulgence I think I was making haste to retrieve my wizards robe or another magical device.
The bunk bed I currently sleep in has two detachable roll out guards which deliver choice blows around the clock as I scale the ladder to rest my feet. The irony is not lost.
Perhaps I have frogs legs?
Found inside the palace grounds at Monaco.
Nemo still teases me. I must be close to finding him.
For this and other photos please feel free to look at the following link
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| Intripcredible |
As you may have guessed internet access is a bit harder to source cheaply in this part of the world. Half an hour of internet at a cafe is about €2.50 which is a bit steep given the paralyzing affect the recession has had on the financial liquidity of my blog.
Luckily the local Laundromat has free WIFI! This encourages both domesticated behaviour and precious internet time. I literally can not wait to take things to be dried, washed etc.
Following our early morning amble this morning we decided to follow the coast around to the main port of Antibes.
It is probably best I dispense with some evidence of the amazing scenery which populates this section of the Riviera.
Shot looking back towards our home in Juan Les Pins.
The beautiful sea. Plane coming in to land just like ours did on Friday.
View towards Antibes town
When we first saw the top of this Super Yacht we thought it was a floating restaurant.
More big fellows.
Today was a day of two walks. One in the dark and one in the glorious sun.
Success and Success!
With jet lag and/or the incessant indulging of food and alcoholic beverages still weighing heavily on our minds much of Antibes still remains a mystery.
We did take a long walk down the coast this morning. It takes about half an hour to get down to the next port. There are some incredibly large yachts and I would have openly salivated if it wasn’t so bitterly cold and dark. It was 5am and my hoodie is in desperate need of a clean as it has visually suffered from sustained impromptue bouts of drinking and eating. The weather is on the improve however and we are expecting 23 degrees today.
My only other observation from the walk this morning is that only other people up and about were impeccably well dressed ladies and gentlemen walking home from discotheques. They were even walking straight which is in itself remarkable. What a curious race the French are.
Some of you might remember the no horseplay signs which dotted the gymnasium we frequented in our trip to Australia last year. Imagine my excitement when I saw the sign for the pool which is a part of our apartment complex.
Clearly you should not dive, play with balls or engage in TARZAN acts, I look forward to diving from a rope swing whilst juggling.
I haven’t had time to document all of the eclectic malaise which is part of our habitat but I do have one more photo to share.
Check out the size of the light switches here.
Huge. My success campaign has been getting some traction as has my new catch cry.
I am going to blog the sh*t out of that.
Time to venture out and find some fresh quarry.
Easter Sunday in Antibes began with a visit to the de toilette. A stealthy bunny had deposited a couple of eggs which were met with welcome hands and Anna and I devoured them before our usual breakfast.
Our extended whanau had celebrated long into the night so we decided to go for a walk and capture some fresh eggs as the apartment was full of chocolate bounty which could need replenishing. The local casino coughed up plenty of eggs, we visited a bakery and bought a couple of baguettes to complement the condiments.
I now have to describe the calorific collateral damage which comes with living with two chefs. On our return an egg tasting session started which to be honest has not finished yet. Chef Shafiq created a baguette cheese Vegemite branston pickle mayo ensemble which by all reports was very tasty.
Some of the later risers opted for a rapturous risotto which was was still packing a punch from Friday night. At some point before 11am I enlightenly decided to purchase some more Gin. I delegated the Gin purchasing to studious Sam who on return had managed to lose the Fifty Euro note I had given her. This slight has delivered quite a lot of comedic mileage and we all wait with baited breath for someone to provide more stupidity for us all to laugh at. Luckily my wife supported the second Gin purchasing mission as she had zip up pockets which are less prone to losing Fifty euro notes.
Chef Shafiq delivered again with a potato mash up with freshly raped parmeson, butter, mayonnaise and essential herbs and spices. Anna decided to lighten things up with a healthy salad which was heartily devoured until all semblance of healthy fibre had dissipated.
Remedial action had to be taken and our next course was to be crepes ala duck or nutella depending on your persuasion.
Naturally I am devastated at my Sunday thus far. We have run out of Gin and if I could move with out all of the food pulsating through my digestive system I would be venturing out to get some more.
Gin that is.
Our arrival into France was surprisingly painless. Customs waved ourselves and our bags through. We had time to admire the sun rising over the tarmac and made our way to the mysteriously named terminal two. After the briefest of stops to engage the foot operated toilet flushing mechanisms we checked into our connecting flight to Nice. It was here where things turned very continental.
Not content with perusing my laptop. French authorities made it quite clear in two different languages that they would like to handle my wedding ring, glasses, Nintendo DS and portable hard drive. The final indignity was having to remove my belt and walk through the security scanner hitching my jeans with my hands. Whilst I am not one for dropping my pants without good reason I almost felt obligated to lose them just because. You know? My suffering did not end here. I left my glasses behind and now am sunglassless in a foreign land.
The flight to Nice was delightful and the sweeping vista of the French Riviera as we landed was breathtaking. I do believe I was speechless and wordless for about 5 minutes. Thankfully I have recovered otherwise you might not be reading this right now,
Our incredible host Kira greeted us at the Airport and we made our our way to a bus terminal where we could find a bus going to Antibes. The bus was incredibly busy. Our booty laiden packs swollen with sarongs and wizard robes were far too large for the the ailse. Using dormant muscles I placed them both in over head luggage compartments. It was here that the Driver made it quite clear in incomprehensible French that my wifes pack could destroy someone if it fell. I stowed it carefully by the door and our bus ride began. After a few minutes of the bus journey I understood the drivers luggage stowing reservations. He appeared to have difficulty using his break pedal in a meaningful manner. He may have in fact had a illness which meant he used a toilet a lot because he seemed to be a vigourous break pumper.
Still it was a deligtful journey and I was offered seats by the bus patrons on many occasions, so out of sorts I must have looked. I was at pains to stress with my well versed sign language that I had to watch my pack and the driver in case I needed to use my freshly learned Sea Safety, Fire fighting and First aid abilities. The was an endearing fellow who stood by the door and ranted and raved for about fourty minutes. What he was discussing is still a mystery. I can only guess he is a distant relation of the last commuting comedian I met and he was perfecting his stand up (ho ho ho)
It was during our bus drive that I decided a large bottle of Gin would be the best cure for the out of sortness of 35 hours continuous travelling had rendered me. Our apartment is delightful. It was two balconies, three computers and two bathrooms. It is also adorned with the most eclectic mishmash of ornaments I have seen anywhere. I will discuss these at length when I have taken some suitable photos.
We eventually ventured out to find coffee and groceries (gin).We sat near the beach and I made sure I gave plenty of nice angles for the swelling throng of Papparrazi that watched my every move. A puzzling naming convention I have noticed is that the supermarkets are called Casinos. This may explain the lottery when it comes to be served. The check out attendant was cute so I will excuse her rudeness. I was just happy to be carrying a bottle of gin on our way home.
After plugging in my laptop I made a good attempt at drinking all of my bottle of gin and writing at the same time. Sadly my drinking was more enthusiastic than my writing and about 1 hour in I retired to my bunk bed to let my blood alcohol levels lower to more manageable levels.
Sadly when I arose four hours later my blood alcohol levels had dropped to dangerously low levels and I had the appearance of a ghost with a really bad hangover. The ad hoc family here were quick to administer more alcohol and we sat down to eat a fabulous meal. Did I mention I am living with two chefs now?
Tales were told. I warned the household I am restraining my wit until I have learned important facts. I now know we have three aquarians, two geminis and one Leo. This would explain the fact We get on like a house on Fire. Five air signs and one Fire sign will cause fire. I know this.
At 1am we retired to bed and I sit now writing my blog. Life is pretty fucking awesome. Don’t you think?
First let me congratulate myself on such a clever headline. It actually came to be in a drowsy period before sleep on the 10th of March. So this entry has exactly one month in the making. If you have not picked up my cleverness please follow this link.(HI NICK!)
A small and notable problem is that we actually bypassed Paris on this very day opting to fly straight to Nice and onto Antibes. Time and money are of the essence and we will give Paris the attention it deserves when we have the resources to do so.
If you needed even more evidence of my brilliance. I actually completed this entry on the eve of our departure and set it to publish automatically. Look Mum no hands.
Stay tuned I am actually researching France as you read and will report back with my first findings as soon as I can.
Given that this is my second trip of a life time I think I can be excused for being mildly excited about what the future holds. Things have been quite busy up until about 20 minutes ago when some of my more mundane thought processes evaporated leaving me with an overwhelming sense of BRING IT.
I Look forward to sharing the A Rather Large Adventure Volume Two with you all.