These LinesMy Way With Words

A short time ago I wrote myself a set of goals for whilst I was traveling. These goals were simple enough and easy to attain but given that I am not traveling anymore they seem a bit at odds with my current circumstances.

A typical day whilst traveling and being unemployed went something like this.

-Wake up
-Go for a leisurely walk
-Eat breakfast
-Write about something interesting I saw the day before
-Spend the day adventuring
-Sleep and repeat

I have been trying my best to find a way to incorporate writing into my new routine but it appears regimented order is not my cup of tea. Given the vacant stares I encounter every morning on the bus I can only guess that the bus companies of Auckland are using powerful imagination suppression routines to stupefy the patrons. The motives for this are sinister. Obviously more people would be flying to work or riding lion drawn chariots if the bus companies were not so scared of losing customers.

It could be a matter of ergonomics. Whilst traveling I did most of my writing on my back with my laptop perched upon my knees. My current computer situation is back bending work more akin to potato picking than earnest typing. Then there is a curious lack of blog access at my current work, a trifling annoyance and one I can not immediately remedy.

Strangely enough, I have had some success delving into the more commercial aspects of a modern day scribe. Whilst I am not at liberty to discuss these projects they are exciting all the same and I look forward to sharing my completed works when they are finished.

What ever the case I shall be furrowing my brow when I can and lying on my back a bit more, just not on the bus.

I must first share the impetus to write this tale. Recently I reacquainted myself with an interesting chap who had told me how he dressed up in his Mondays best and strolled around Queen street for a couple of hours pretending he was a lawyer. This appealed to my inner child and for the past two weeks I have fabricated a rich and luscious spy alter personality. This may or may not have coincided with the New Zealand release of a 007 movie. The key visual element of this saga may have conceded a passing resemblance to myself.

Infiltrating the nucleus of Auckland city. I have wandered the streets noticing key infrastructure. Internet cafes, bars and thai restaurants have been diligently transcribed to my incredibly advanced didactic memory. I have sat amongst the drone bees. I have dodged news paper vendors. Ran the pedestrian gauntlet. I have danced through raindrops and merrily draughted buses as I vaulted road crossings. A million imaginary super spy foes have been lost, taunted, shot, maimed and dressed up in womens clothing to good measure.

But today it all came crashing down when I realised in my haste to mount and ride a bus I had left my precious falsified identity wallet on a park bench. This huge oversight caused much consternation on my ride home. My mission was in tatters. Various huge entities had to be told of my huge expense cards would have to be suspended. World share markets plunged on this news. My ride home was a pained and aggressive interrogation of my bag. What was worse was the foreboding dread I was feeling knowing I would have to report to my partner in spying what I had done. I was a dead man…….

Using some of my finely honed corporate communication skills learned in the last two weeks. I vocalised a quick knock up press release to my partner. I was not to blame. It would be ok. I had taken nessasary precautions…….

And I waited……

And then it came.

News of my wallet being handed into a government department who is sympathethic to my cause.

I knew there was a reason I had those business cards made.

I wrote this on Monday. To correctly timestamp yourself please imagine yourself as me this Monday past entering work for the first time in a few months.

Today marks an auspicious occasion. It is my triumphant return to regular employment. I celebrated long and hard this morning on the express bus into the city. An incredible journey marked by a wet and windswept horizon and punctuated by the shrill dinging of bells and transferal of passengers.

I have not worked in the central city of Auckland before. I hope there will be plenty to write about. At first glance it appears people commuting are not a very talkative bunch. They are not a particularly expressive lot either. I did get a half strained grimace infused with the beginnings of a smile from one lady passenger after I helpfully indicated there were seats free up the back where the cool people sit.

I am working in an interesting building. It has a lounge area downstairs with a few chocolate brown leather lounge suites. It is here that I will do my morning writing. The security man seems to be a writer as well. I can only see the beginnings of a head behind his desk and he only gives the slightest of nods to suggest he has preformed a biochemical and metal scans with his eyes. His head being tilted down shows he is clearly writing furiously. Actually I have seen his face now, he is hiding a horrendous beard. He has got carried away with movember and is clearly embarrassed by it.

A cleaner is vacuuming the tiled floor. He is a large man and would make a better security man than the bearded fellow. His vacuum cleaner is impressive and it is not hard to imagine it making an efficient tool to repel bun runners, hawkers and lounging loiterers like myself. I have made contact with the cleaner. Like all good boys I helpfully lifted my bags and feet so he could work his magic.

Up the elevator I am humbled by the nice little things my new work does. We have free fruit to eat every day. My team plays morning word games on a white board. We also have our starsigns read out to us by a nominated member. These may seem a trifle superfluous but they are things I respect. It does not take much to make places of work a lot better.

Would you beleive one of my first tasks was to call the concierge downstairs? Be careful of who you write about. You might have to talk to them. Which reminds me I must write something about Beyoncé.

Hello readers. I am still in the slings and arrows of vocational warfare. Updates are therefore still infrequent, however I have happened upon an interesting theory…..

It appears the longer I have been unemployed the more beautiful I have become. Who would have thought? I did.

The pressing nature of finding employment is weighing heavily on my mind at the moment. I am actually finding writing here a wee bit hard. My horoscope gleefully informed me yesterday that this is my week of the year career wise.

As you move into one of your most important professional weeks of the year, you’re greeted by a sense of confidence that may seem to come from nowhere, especially if you’ve doubted yourself. With Mars, planet of passion, drive and ambition, due to leave your career sector in the weekend, this is your last week for giving your professional situation everything you’ve got. If there ever was a time you needed to believe in yourself, this is it.

So please excuse me whilst I focus……

This sh0uld be interesting.