The really deep and dreamy end

Bon Journo.

Well its been a week since I left the Middle East and I thought it was high time I wrote something. It’s been an adventure of the rather large persuasion. I don’t live an ordinary life but I guess I never have.

I got out of Qatar in one piece. In an odd turn of events it rained solidly the whole day that I left. There was some nice poetry in that. I landed in Roma in the evening. It took me days to get across the airport. My NZ cap is as good as diplomatic immunity in Italy at least. I’m not even sure passport control stamped me in.

I had a short flight to Pisa and then I waited for a while for Dan, one of my new colleagues to pick me. We had a drive to La Spezia where I finally got on board my new home. Now I have signed a confidentiality agreement, but I have a pretty good understanding of how these things work. I don’t think will be treading on anyones toes by sharing a little bit here on this very blog.

First impressions, an overpowering desire to append wow to every sentence. She is a stunning boat and everything is so shiny and new. I have spent the last week getting lost on an hourly basis but I am slowly starting to get a feel for things. We had a fire drill yesterday and I found my way to my muster station without too much hassle, so that is good to know.

The crew accommodation is top notch and I have a positively cavernous cabin to myself. This is a big plus as given our size we do not tie up that often.

my cabin

My department is a subset of Engineering. There are four of us in our office which is broadly speaking Electrical and AVIT. Having spent many years in offices, it is both satisfying and comforting to return to one even if it is a bit chaotic. Rest assured I have my label maker out and am making gentle improvements.

My desk
We have a staggering amount of Apple equipment on board. We have a staggering amount of everything for that matter. Sadly there are a few mountains to climb with regards to the AV system but there is a plan and if I can make a good impression over the next few weeks the next year will be a very exciting time.
That is not to say things have not been exciting. Oh no. We had a sea trial on Tuesday which was heart in the mouth stuff and I am glad that I had been here for a couple of days otherwise I might have packed my bags and left. My wife used to always say “All I want is a normal boat” I thought about this on Tuesday evening “Honey all boats are crazy”
We left on Tuesday for Gibraltar, the passage was quite bumpy and there was a bit of spontaneous reorganisation all over the vessel. Our office was shaken up a bit, thankfully we have an unending supply of cable ties. 
Gibraltar yesterday was an anticlimax. We only had a berth for 8 hours as there was a ferry coming in. I did get to go ashore and stock up on Protein powder. It was very odd to see shops openly selling alcohol. It was hilarious to see an English magazine in the crew mess with a tops bums of the year feature this morning.
The highlight for me so far? This morning we raised the helicopter pad to take on our helicopter. I took a couple of photos.

It was eerily spine-tingling stuff. Im sure the blokes and the blokes at heart will agree.
Thats it for me and the Med for now. We are Barbados bound.
Ciao!
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Rekindling the magic

At some point during the year of the Dragon 2012 the FireDragon forgot how intrinsically magical he was. It wasn’t until the full solar eclipse the FireDragon remembered how to use magic.

First he asked for good luck wishes and spells far and wide. He had two replies. Two were all that he needed given the highly esteemed two Snakes that wished him the best. Two of his previous Captains were too busy to give the FireDragon written references. It turns out FireDragons don’t need written references, they just burn on proximity anyway. The FireDragon got two stirling references one from an unexpected quarter who praised the FireDragon for being humble. Things progressed and the FireDragon will now start a new course of Employment on the 3rd of December. The 3rd of December is when this happens,

Planetary alignment that will take place Dec 3, 2012 is dead-on alignment with the Pyramids at Giza. 
PLANETS INLINE: MERCURY / VENUS / SATURN


Mythical creatures aside. I have landed a real dream job. I will be working as an AVIT officer on a very large Motor Yacht. The vessel is the top ten size wise and is very new. We have an interesting itinerary and I will share some more details when I know my non disclosure obligations. This is the big time.

Somebody asked me what an AVIT officer is. My explanation is that an AVIT is basically a Dan. Anyone that has visited one of my abodes over the last 10 years would have seen the foundations of a career as an AVIT officer. Entertainment/Computers/Gaming and Music. I will be getting paid to be myself. I think that is the best possible job.

The huge thing for me is to be finally working time for time. Time for time means I will work two months and then have two months at home. I will get paid over 12 months.. I wil probably drive my wife mad but at least now I will be at home with my friends and family being annoying :-).

I can not stress what a difficult year it has been. I have seen my Wife for about 1 month over the last year. I have doubted what I have been doing many a time. Unfortunately my working environment was starting to erode my confidence. I have not enjoyed living in Qatar. I have no affinity with the culture its people and do not want any.

Working at sea has and continues to push me in ways that I never thought possible. I always knew if I could survive that first season I could achieve anything and this is just a continuation of that.

By the way I have to say thank you to Richard Dunnais who’s teachings must have rubbed off on me as I have never been called humble in a reference before.

I thank you all for your support. I certainly felt the love last night. Sometimes you just need to ask for it.
Exciting times for this FireDragon. I feel like my whole life has lead me to this juncture. Very happy days indeed.

Big sigh.

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Study Bugs

Well I passed my course.

<Insert Applause here>

It was very difficult. I wager I did more study in two weeks than I did in years at high school. I was lucky that my hotel was only 3 minutes from the Marine school and I did not have to walk past any pubs. I did do some nice walks early in the morning and I marvelled the dampness that pervades urban England. You can feel it encroaching your senses. It made a pleasant change after having sand enter your pores for five months.

After the first week I was spending so much time with my books that I had to pass up a trip to Cambridge to see some old young friends. I did have a study break of sorts and went into Newcastle. I wrote earlier how I was struck at how friendly the people were. I was told later in my trip that the Southshields locals think of the Newcastle people as being stand offish. I guess nice is just relative to what you know.

I engaged in some retail therapy. I returned to my hotel in Southshields. I have created some rockstar hotel rooms in my lifetime. This is about as rockstar as my hotel room got in my time up in Newcastle.

That is a handbasin in the background not a toilet basin.

By about the following Wednesday the participants in my course were starting to get a bit frayed. I was still gaiting around and trying to seem uninterested but some of the practice exams were making me angry. We were to have our real exams on the Thursday and a practical Oral exam on the Friday.

The following Thursday our sole master mariner on the course broke out in hives right before our exam. It was at this point I started to get a bit uneasy. The two Irish and Scotsman on my course went for pints while they waited for results. It turned out we had all passed. Most of the tension disappeared.

my last walk in Southshields suitably damp

I passed the Oral exam on the Friday. I then had the perfect post exam relaxation. A session with the Brumbler the Pocket Battler who just happened to be doing a course at Southshields.

We met at a cheap pub and started drinking. It turned out it was the wrong pub as we were supposed to meet some Engineering cadets who had been doing advanced firefighting with him. Advanced firefighting sounds very dangerous. Brent was sporting a burn to his foot after getting up close and personal with fire. After witnessing somethings later I could see why this happened.

Reunited with his classmates I set about showing there are clearly defined boundaries between New Zealand and Australia. We are longer limbed for starters. We also are more cultured and less prone to rash things as would be demonstrated. Brent and I have spent good chunks of time in Italy, We both look forward to returning to Italy at a later date. Our charming company meant we were added to the Cadets table at a classy (for Southshields) Italian restaurant.

Upon reaching the Restaurant we were told to behave to an impecable standard. There was some nebulous connection for one of the Cadets to the Restaurant. We destroyed this rule after about 30 seconds of getting our first rounds of drinks. One of the Welshman overturned Brent’s Italian bira showing us all how flexible he wasnt.

We were ushered to our table to stop disrupting the diners waiting to get tables. We then started swearing a normal amount for Sailors and soon to be Sailors. We were warned multiple times for making too much noise (swearing) Brent and I then decided to stop swearing in English and start swearing in Italian. I started ssshing pretty much all interactions of a non volatile nature.

We ate a very average Italian meal to Brent and my own best of Tuscany standards. The menu was definitely the most Italian thing in the place. Brent and I had a celebratory Brumble which was vodka/barcadi and a local energy drink. We dubbed it the Newcastle Brumble.

Taste testing the Newcastle Brumble
Moments directly after taste testing the Newcastle Brumble.

At some point Brent decided to start cooking a spoon with a candle. The candle resisted ssshing.

I remember something else refusing sssshing.

After dinner we decided to treat the cadets to some Limoncello.

I made the very brave have an espresso with a little drapple of milk a Machiato if you will.

It is here the night took a turn for the unknown. We went to a very vibrant rock bar in Southshields. Brent swears he felt very amplified. I saw things I have never seen before on a dance floor but I had to leave with one of the Cadets pushed someone to the ground a couple of times. Apparently nothing came of it, maybe its a local custom. I did not hang around to find out.

The next morning I arose early with a considerable hangover. Brent however slept through our taxi and I had to ring him late to wake him up. He did come through a taxi eventually. We had a very amusing ride to the airport. Brent had footprints all over his shirt from the night before. I told him he had been all over the dancefloor horizontal so that was the logical explanation.

And fair readers that was the second time I have known Brent to affect airports by just going out for a couple of drinks.

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At the drop of a hat

We had quite a successful boss trip last week. It lasted about six days and we had some very good feedback from all key steakholders (intentional pun).
Directly after the trip our Captain congratulated us. He told us we had three days off and all crew were entitled to a massage from the local therapist. This was pretty awesome news.
Joe and I went off to our surfing spot. We ironically took a personal photographer Theo. We were commenting in the car how out of all of the bosses numerous entourage the photographers seemed the most worthwhile. That and the Tea/sisha man. 
November looks to be the best time of the year for surfing and upon reaching Police bay we set about wooping and making convincing impressions of people who know how to body board. Theo did a great job of cataloging our outing.

I wiped out a couple of times quite spectacularly. I also cramped up at one point with such fervour that Joe thought I had been bitten by a shark. On our way back to the boat I broke my alcohol sabbatical of two months with a couple of glasses of red wine. It was dirt cheap and tasted divine. Abstinence makes the heart grow fonder.
I went into a deep sleep after eating some dinner and awoke to what could only be interpreted as a nightmare. Joe was telling Shane and I that we has to take the boat to the Middle East. 
The mood on the boat the next morning could only be described like a zombie aflicted morgue with a hangover. It was a bit of a slap in the face given that we have only just left the Middle East. Having had one of our best charters ever and to be heading back that way. 
Luckily for the Chef and I. We had prior plans. Mine involved flying out the day the boat departed for Newcastle on Tyne. I’m writing this from the perpetually confusing Charles de Gaul. Everytime I come here is an ordeal. I’m quite stoked I got onto my plane after four bus rides. 
Newcastle after being away from the western world for so long is marvellous. I have been struck by how friendly everyone is. More about Newcastle later in the week. My heart goes out to my home and pseudo family which is beating its way up to parts unknown.
The moral of this story. Seize the day and your board. You never know what might happen or what might seize up.
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How to procure an NZ Seamans Book

There are occasions when Google fails me and I have to resort to more archaic methods of finding things out. Such was the case late last week when I set about trying to find information on this topic. A Seaman book is a travel document which records when you join and leave boats. It is very useful for the taxman and allows you to get special fights. It is also very helpful when you are working towards Maritime qualifications or tickets as we like to call them.

Now I have the information I would like to impart the knowledge so in the future people do not have to go through the trauma of emailing somebody.

Good morning,  
Thank you for your email.
I have attached a copy of the form we will need to have completed before we can issue a NZ Seafarers Discharge Book to you.  Once the form is completed in full and returned to us in Auckland, we should be able to issue the discharge book within a few days of receipt.    Please supply the following to us:
1.  Completed form.
2.  Copy of a current NZ Passport or passport showing NZ Residency. 
3.  2 x Passport sized photos – colour.               (Please DO NOT supply photos printed on Fuji Film as these are incompatible with the paper used in our Discharge Books)
4.  $100.00 (cash or cheque (payable to Manukau Institute of Technology) , Credit Card number (not Amex or Diners) or a purchase/works order from your company (this can be faxed to us at (09) 379 4999).    Alternatively you can pay directly into our bank account, see below. 
5.  Indicate on the bottom of the attached form how you wish to receive this document. 

            Bank Details are:

            Bank:              National Bank of NZ
            Branch:           East Tamaki, Auckland, NZ
            Address:         116 Harris Road, East Tamaki, Auckland
            AC #                06-0293-0073560-00
            Swift Code:     ANZBNZZ22 (to be quoted on payment) plus
            Quote:             Student Name / ID number if Known, any other details which may be available   
5. A postal address to send the book to once it is completed or a A5 self addressed envelope/courier bag.  If you wish us to courier this document to you, Freight charges will be payable (to the value of the service provided).

Chur.

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Joe Versus the Curb

Yesterday morning after some more than pointless running Joe and I took a rental car and went surfing. We are lucky on the Seychelles that there is usually a swell of some sorts. I can’t think of many yachting cruising locations that you can go for a surf before and after work.

Joe drives quite quickly, I named him and the Chefs car the white knuckle in Doha. But Doha is a bit different to here. It had been raining heavily and Joe was driving quite aggressively. We made a turn away from the coastline and snaked along a small tarmac road. With eerie premonition I said to Joe, “I wouldn’t be driving this fast here Joe, I would be treating the road like a dirt one” Exactly two seconds later we left the road grinded the curbside and came to a halt. Local crash scene investigators stopped immediately and with the help of 8 locals we had the car back on the road.

Given the response I think going off the road is a common occurrence here. I’m just happy nobody was hurt and the white knuckle has been put in a glove for a few months.

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Much Better

I think my whole body and mind sighed with relief this morning when I went outside for the first time in five days. The temperature was probably about 26 degrees. The air so clean it felt like breathing menthol and the view was this.

I am looking forward to returning your normal scheduled programming here.

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Happy Crossings

With only 6 hours to go I think it is safe to say that we have had a happy and peaceful crossing. I have had a lifetimes worth of traumatic passages in my short career so I am happy we have had a good one. What did happen?

Well our Security guards managed to put our treadmill into a state by setting the incline to 40 degrees in a 2 metres of sea. This caused the worm gear to get horribly out of sync. The Second Engineer and I took it apart and after consulting the manual I managed to recalibrate the incline setting with the computer and it is back to normal. I seriously wonder why we have security guards. On our last crossing they destroyed an exercise bike. I think you could set up a company with robotic ScareSentries (patent pending) and make/save a lot of money.

We did an equator crossing. I again sat it out. Its a revolting shameful tradition which should be phased out. One of the stewadess’s asked me why I did not take part. I replied “I am too old and sensible.” Words I do not think I have ever uttered.

Does that look like fun?

Our Second Officer has just made an announcement of land ho. I actually think I will kiss the first grass that I see. We had an announcement of rain on the way down. Its funny how you miss things after a few months.

Today I targeted our television Satellite and got a call centre in South Africa to hit our decoders. On a Sunday no less. Getting South Africans to do anything is an achievement in my books. Getting them to do it on a weekend is impressive.

Clever me.

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Just Deserts

We left Qatar today. We had 48 hours to leave and it was satisfying to see how everyone hustled to vacate apartments, fuel and provision up and slip our lines this afternoon. Five months in Qatar was a couple of months too many for me. Ramadan as eye opening as it was, felt unsettling and there are many facets of Middle Eastern living that will never sit easy with me. The military build up in and around Iran has not gone unnoticed and I hope we have a smooth trip down to the familiar Seychelles.

Looking forward we should have 1-2 months down there before we come back for Christmas. I will be going to England in November for a couple of weeks and returning home to New Zealand for a month at Christmas time which I am dearly looking forward too. I also plan on spending a few days with my Sister and freshly married partner in Sydney. It will be fabulous.

I’m hoping to catch a bit of surf in the Seychelles. I’m still sober, not a drop since the Second of September, but I am hoping I have something to celebrate after I complete my course in November.

Ciao!

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X-Ray Vision

Last week I got a seaman medical. My last seaman medical was a very professional and expensive one gained on Harley street in London. I would have preferred to get one there again but with my old one expiring and my next trip to England not till November getting one here was the best option.

I have to admit that the clinic I visited was very good and although I had to visit four different departments It was relatively uneventful. The only funny part of the trip was getting a chest X-Ray. I managed to get my X-Ray with my nipple ring attached. To be honest I don’t know how to remove it. I forget about it most of the time until someone spots it loitering under a white polo shirt or I am dis-robed. Anyway after my X-Ray I was ushered over to a screen to make sure my spine was still intact. The poor Philippine Nurses were freaking out. They had not spotted my nipple ring before the X-Ray and it looked quite a sight.

Nurses placated I left the clinic with a very smug smile.
On my return to the clinic to get my results I made the mistake of standing next to water dispenser. I got a grunt and dismissive back hand from a local lady dressed in full costume. I hope she was there for some strong medication. The good news is that I am a healthy specimen fit for duty. My hearing is surprisingly good. I guess years of talking to myself have been done at safe levels. My eyesight its slowing decaying. I still blame years of game-boy playing but it is fair to say I am growing old. I have shrunk a centimetre, I blame that on working with a few short angry people in my time and having had to stoop to various unsavoury levels.
Obviously we are still in Qatar. We hope to head South soon. Selfishly I want to get a good tan minus sand abrasion before I head to England in November for a GMDSS (Global Maritime Distress and Safety System) course. I should have a day or two layover in London and I hope to see some of you there.
What else? Well its been five weeks without a drop of alcohol. You would be amazed how easy it is not to drink when you need a licence to purchase alcohol and have to visit expensive hotels to purchase a drink legally. If you want to have a dry month, both figuratively and climatically the Middle East can’t be beat.
I’m going to try and go for three months without a drop. I should be positively parched before I head back to New Zealand for Christmas. Please save a drink for me.
Ciao!
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